Chris Brown Is A Lovely Boy, Says Chap Who Dresses Him
by Sam Errama
Filed under R&B music
Aside from a handful of berserk, illiterate nutbags, nobody has really been defending Chris Brown since he allegedly attacked Rihanna.
That’s probably fair, though. After all, it’s a brave celebrity who’ll choose to say “Hey, I know that I’ve certainly got angry before and allegedly punched a woman in the face before choking her into unconsciousness, right kids?”
Nevertheless, an intrepid handful of people are rushing to Chris Brown’s side – particularly those who rely on Chris Brown for employment. Like Mike B, Chris Brown’s stylist who says that Chris “feels very bad”about what’s happened. So that’s good.
When a celebrity does something particularly boneheaded, there’s usually a pattern of exile, defence by proxy and then gradual re-acceptance.
People were quick to defend Christian Bale after his sweary tantrum, people were even quick to defend Mel Gibson after he told everyone how much he hated the Jews. And when Miley Cyrus pulled that ridiculous slanty-eyed pose? Well, OK, actually nobody tried to defend Miley Cyrus for that. They’re not idiots.
But, by and large, the pattern remains for Chris Brown. After he was arrested for allegedly attacking Rihanna this weekend, Chris Brown has become public enemy number one. You don’t hit women. You just don’t. Not even if the women look a little bit like foetuses and sing annoying songs about protective rain accessories a lot. You just don’t hit women. Unless you’re Sean Connery, obviously. But even then it’s still a bit wrong.
And the backlash against Chris Brown has been as violent as it has been instant.Companies are ditching their ties with Chris Brown, radio stations are banning Chris Brown from their playlists, and we got one particularly amusing PR email yesterday inviting us to a giant Chris Brown CD-shredding party in New York tomorrow.
So Chris Brown must feel like he hasn’t got a friend in the world to leap to his defence at the moment. But he has – Mike B, the man responsible for all the silly clothes that Chris Brown wears. People reports:
“Chris is all right. He’s a good kid. He feels very bad that something like this has happened,” his longtime wardrobe stylist Mike B told PEOPLE. Another friend echoes that sentiment, telling PEOPLE, “You can tell everybody that Chris really feels bad about the whole situation, about it coming out the way that it happened, the way he went about it, the way she went about it … it’s just a wack situation.”
So there we have it – rather than the monstrous, publicly-vilified woman-beater that he’s being made out to be, Chris Brown is actually a good kid who feels a teensy bit sheepish about possibly choking Rihanna into unconsciousness during an argument about text messages.
And that’s Chris Brown’s stylist talking – a man who, judging by the trousers that he picks for his client – appears to be under the impression that Chris Brown is eight feet tall and morbidly obese. You can’t fault the man’s judgement.
Incidentally, after giving his pro-Chris statement, Mike B didn’t hang up the phone properly and could be heard in the background saying “Was that OK, Mr Brown? No? What did I do wrong? No… no… please! Not the face! NOT MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!”before the line went dead.
No, he didn’t really. That’s a lie.
Or is it?
Yes. It’s a lie.
Or is it?
Yes. It is.
